Meditation in Everyday Life: My Journey from Skeptic to Enthusiast

I don’t know when I first heard about the idea of meditation, but I remember reading about the Calm meditation app while at work—and I was immediately intrigued. Skeptical, but curious.

The benefits were touted as decreased reactivity and rumination and increased self-compassion and balance. It just touched something inside me.

Most of my life, I’ve struggled with behaviors and thoughts that haven’t served me: inflexibility, an inability to tolerate frustration, inappropriate coping skills, envy, etc.  

So, the curiosity won out. I vaguely remember leaving my desk and walking out to my car. I sat up tall and took an expectant inhale, then closed my eyes, and felt bored, restless, and doubtful.

I felt like I’d always felt.

I didn’t get it and that frustrated me.

In my favor, though, is the fact that I’m a try-anything-twice type of person—dabbling once only helps work out the logistics, whereas twice is usually enough time to know if the experience is worth repeating. With a greater sense of wonder and fewer expectations on myself, I’ve kept coming back to a meditation practice. 

I can absolutely assure you that my first few sessions (truthfully, over several months) with meditation never gave me any indication that 10 years later, I’d be here as a vocal proponent of the practice.

But hold on. For anyone who’s new or just starting to dabble with meditation, stay with me. If I didn’t transform from curious newbie in the parking lot to Zen master quickly, maybe you’re wondering what’s the point. This is simply the story of my experience with meditation, and while it didn’t end with me on the sun-stripped side of a Tibetan mountain,

it’s been wildly beneficial and calming. And if you’re open to new possibilities, you might surprise yourself. 

10 years later, I still struggle with frustration, impatience, and random, laughable, personal quirks. The key is I manage them a bit better now. I’ll likely never have the nerves of a Buddhist monk, and that’s ok.

A good friend of mine—who admits I finally won her over on the benefits of meditation—often jokes that some moments of normal life would test even the Dalai Lama.

Is it easier for monks in orange robes to rhapsodize about meditation when they don’t have to meal plan? Or deal with a customer service representative? Or clean the bathroom?

Recently, my dog pooped on my floors—for the third time in a week—and that was a toughie. I probably overreacted. Ehhh, I definitely did. I’ll always wonder, would a monk have found himself struggling to find his equanimity?

So, then, you might be wondering, does meditation really serve those of us in the real world? I believe it does. As someone who’s meditated for more than a decade (across all facets of life: pregnancy, parenting, a divorce, the death of loved ones, and innumerous other highs and lows), I’ve encountered all the misconceptions and I’ve improved my ability to wrestle with them a bit more every day.

Is meditation time consuming? No, it doesn’t have to be. Sure, Dan Harris claims to meditate for 60 minutes a day (Don’t let that tidbit scare you. His book, 10% Happier, is one of my favorites on the topic of meditation.) It’s understandable if that feels out of reach. After 10 years, I still think a 12-minute guided meditation is a wildly immersive session. Personally, 10 minutes is my sweet spot.

If you’re starting out, begin with one-timed minute and build up your ability to sit in stillness.

Focus and concentration are muscles you can absolutely train.

Is meditation for people who can already quiet their minds? No. I’ll stop you right there.

It’s not a “wrong” experience to feel distracted by the thoughts that bubble up. (See previous references to the joys of modern life: parenting, pets, and cleaning the bathroom.)

We all have times where our thoughts swing recklessly from tree to tree. In fact, it’s such a common phenomenon that Buddhist teachings refer to this concept as the “monkey mind.”

The art of pausing to notice the thoughts, then returning to your breath—that is the practice of meditation.

In fact, try it right now. I encourage you to close your eyes and simply follow one breath from the inhale to the pause to the bottom of the exhale. You can stop there.

Or, if you’re comfortable, repeat the process.

Chances are you’ll notice that it’s hard to follow a set of distinct breaths without some thought wobbling into your mind. That’s perfectly acceptable. We can get into the specifics of how to think about this later on, but for now, play with that direction and notice what you notice. We all start somewhere.

One final myth about meditation? That the benefits overcome you over night. It’s a long game, folks. However, every meditation is doing something.

In each session, you’re cultivating a core of resilience, balance, and calm.

Personally, I happen to notice the benefits more by their absence. If I find I’ve been short tempered with my family or that I’m having more negative thought loops or that I’m being unnecessarily hard on myself, it’s like a-ha. I remember I’ve been slacking on my meditations, and I vow to start again. 

Sure, life is hard some days and that’s why it feels hard. Meditation can help. Through a consistent practice, we can find the tools that help us soften the edges of those difficult experiences.

Because it’s all inside you—that center that you can return to over time.

As you deepen your practice and set clear intentions, you can find harmony with yourself and how you wish to move through the world.

Meditation is a practice that can be of a benefit to you and those around you.